I'M STILL HERE

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You know most of the time I always daydreaming about my life, How I want to have a good condition of mental health,  further my study, to have a good life, great job, happy family,amazing friends and how I would meet my soulmate-- I wanted he is my best friend. But none of that I achieved. I don't know what I did to deserve the life I lived now. I know I can't recover from depression, of course. But can't I be happy? Can't I be calm and lovevable like everyone else? Why I am like this? I am ugly, enough. But why can't be I happy, calm and have all things figured out? I am constantly living in anxiety and anger. I lashed out to everyone, including my own family. My family's condition isn't great. Things got worse and I'm tired. I have friends-- they all got into university. One in Edinburgh, Living the life I wanted. One got the course I'm dying to learn. Two got lucky. I don't have a soulmate. I won't ever.


Life is so cruel to me, man. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm tired. I'm not getting mature. I want to die.

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