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Adios, people. 

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I'M STILL HERE

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You know most of the time I always daydreaming about my life, How I want to have a good condition of mental health,  further my study, to have a good life, great job, happy family , amazing friends  and how I would meet my soulmate-- I wanted he is my best friend. But none of that I achieved. I don't know what I did to deserve the life I lived now. I know I can't recover from depression, of course. But can't I be happy? Can't I be calm and lovevable like everyone else? Why I am like this? I am ugly, enough. But why can't be I happy, calm and have all things figured out? I am constantly living in anxiety and anger. I lashed out to everyone, including my own family. My family's condition isn't great. Things got worse and I'm tired. I have friends-- they all got into university. One in Edinburgh, Living the life I wanted. One got the course I'm dying to learn. Two got lucky. I don't have a soulmate. I won't ever. Life is so cruel to me, ma...
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happy, happy birthday

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It was my birthday, last friday. 28th June. It was like a bummer. No one actually remembers. It's sad. It's sad because they all piled up with works and they forgot. I don't blame them but it hurts. Like all the wishes be like " Hey happy birthday, sorry I was busy" like...yeah I know. I mean it's truly hurt. nah. I'll get over it.
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TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE.

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      I'm sorry I was born. I didn't ask for it, I don't know why God would create me. I have no purposes. I keep on failing and messing everything up. It is my fault everytime. I wish I was normal. Not this angry bitch. Not a bitch with anger issue and keep messing everything up. I'm sorry. Mom, I'm so sorry that you daughter is THIS. A fat ugly stress angry cow. I'm sorry I'm not a dietician like you wanted me to be. I'm sorry I didn't meet up your expectation. I'm sorry I always mad at you. I'm sorry I'm like this. I'm so sorry mom. Dad, I'm so sorry I let you down. I disappoint you, everytime. I'm not a good daughter. I'm sorry that I always make you angry with me, yelling towards me, I have no intention. I'm sorry that I cannot meet up to your expectation. I'm sorry that you only have one daughter, but she is a bitch. I'm sorry that you only have one daughter, but she is nothing like you i...
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